The Day A Bald, Fat, Ageing Ex Loanee Shut Us Out

Game 5 - Burton Albion Away

I woke up Sunday and it didn't feel right. I think we were the only Football League team playing on this day. Why? I didn't bother to check. I didn't care really. Frustrating as it was, we had waited all week for this, and the 3 of us were going to make the most of it. Panic stations hit early on Sunday. James' Dad came to pick us up and I'd lost my Centenary Shirt for Niku. I handed him the MMC Estates Blue shirt, number 12, no name as we picked him up and he looked less than impressed. It was almost skin tight, showing off his pecks (manboobs) and stretching so that it would never fit me again. But at least the 3 of us were kitted out and ready for action. I armed each member of our team with a gone off Boost energy drink from SHOPPPPPPPPP near me, and we each paid a mere £15 for a return. Now that we all had railcards, we were saving money right left and centre and the whole day turned out to cost little over £20. So we waited for our first train, which took us from Stockport to Stoke. From there it was Stoke to Tamworth, and then Tamworth to Burton.

The first train was excellent. James took his time to get hyper but once he did he got into it more. We started to sing and dance around the middle of our 2 carriages to an extent where it begun to piss people off. Of all the people in the world you would not want to piss off, I would place Millwall fans in my Top 10. The odds eh?? After a word in our ear from a Dale fan, and a few dirty looks from the Millwall firm we settled down and were dignified on our next 2 trains at least. The last thing we need is to be stabbed in the eye for singing "Can you hear the carriage sing? Nooo. Noooo." We saw a few Dale fans on our way there, a couple I recognised but failed to be completely sure until a facebook checkup afterwards assured me I did know them. And now we were here, at Burton....... and it smelt like piss.

Don't worry, I understand why it smelt bad. Brewery etc. But it was just not nice at all. Nothing was open apart from Lidl (Where we managed to get a 2l bottle of Iron Brew, not Irn Bru, for 42p!!!) and Pizza Base, where I enjoyed some excellent garlic bread and a handful of undercooked, ketchupless chips. James and Niku went to the church to pray for Dale, only to be shunted back outside and left to look like idiots. Walking to the ground we met a man, who I wrongly claimed to be the reason for the piss smell at first, who was a St Albans City fan, visiting Burton just for the sake of it. He claimed he had visited 115 English Football grounds, and had not been to Burton since they had re-entered the Football League. Admittedly, we did enjoy his company for 15 mins or so, whilst he explained how he subsequently is not married, and why he has no proper life. However, any football lover, is a friend of ours so we listened, exchanged views and poliltely left him to head up quicker. I only hope he didn't miss his train back, because that really is, a long journey home on a Sunday evening.

We came to the ground, did a lap, and circled the premises menacingly. Admittedly, the town is a dump, but it terms of a Football Ground, the Pirelli Stadium seemed top notch. Neat and tidy from the outside, atmosphere in it. We were very comfortable. Upon our arrival, we need of course blag junior tickets. I claimed that my voice had just broken, and that I was an early bloomer. James made up a fake D.O.B and Niku just squeezed himself through the barrier, probably claiming obesity benefits. He really did look big in that shirt... So the 3 of us, 14 years old now for the sake of argument trundled in. The coppers said they didn't expect to see us near the bar if we were U14 or we would be arrested. We were more than happy to say "we don't drink" so that the smirks were wiped off their faces pretty quick and we could get on into the ground. Like I said, good atmosphere and the fans were in relatively good voice. Unfortunately, our players weren't as up for it as we were. 1-0 down inside 3 minutes, and we were struggling. Guy Branston, the Burton Captain, seemed to get the idea that we were clapping him after his abysmal 15 or so games for us on loan a couple of years ago. I for one, was not clapping. I just hoped Dagnall got the ball at his feet and made the donkey fall on his arse. Unfortunately, Daggers never got the ball to his feet...

Don't get me wrong, O'Grady is a good striker, but despite his size, he is better on the ground than in the air. Branston mopped up everything that came above head height in Burton's half. We never had a chance, not with the way we were playing. Both Kennedy's were poor and Dagnall was ineffective without the ball at his feet. The game stayed as it was, and we lost a game we shouldn't have. However, on the positives, I did get a free Dr Pepper out of it, as the shop was closing just as I asked for one, and they just let me have it. So I guess I was the big winner then... :/

The journey back was enjoyable. The first train to Chesterfield was mad. Me and Niku began singing in good voice. Banging the middle of the carriage, disturbing passengers. Things were good, but James was still in a mood. It wasn't until we got 10 Bury Bombers going that he stood up, pumped out his chest and sang his heart out. We were so noisy we had more than one complaints. Result :) Admittedly, we were upset at the defeat, but resiliant. The 2nd train wasn't quite the same. Crammed in so tight we could barely move, we weren't exactly going to burst into song. There was a bit of banter flying around though, as we were appointed controllers of luggage. I helped a very attractive woman carry her bags off the train, before also offering to chuck someone out of their seat for someone even fitter to sit down!!! But that was as far as it goes. We were home, and the day was a mixed one. Probably one of the best for singing, but the worst for football.

However, as the saying goes, there is always next time. As I am writing this it is 11.45am on Saturday morning. My train is in 45 minutes and I am not even dressed, Apologies for the rush, but I don't want to miss today, Barnet at home. We have a new supporter, and expect a lot more surprises from todays game. Enter.... Will Jones.